So this is my first blog since getting married all of 2 1/2 months ago. A few temptations came up to write like "the best It's always sunny episodes", "reviews of stuff i finally saw", and "Lost rewind: a perspective on the past seasons", but i got lazy, however, I now have something to write about.
About a week ago, I had probably one of the most painful toothaches ever while i was at work. After visiting the dentist, he told my my wisdom teeth has got to go...and a tooth i had a bad root canal on, which the back portion broke off a few weeks after the procedure and remained that way for at least a year. So yesterday I went to get all 5 teeth removed. Everything began pretty normal, I talked to the nurses about the Broncos/Cubs game and how much everyone was booing for Jay Cutler. Then came the gas, about 5 minutes inhaling the gas I told the nurse I wasn't feeling anything (i was getting a little heavy eyed but i wanted more) so she turned it up a bit and left the room. Suddenly, within my chest it felt as if there was a constantly giggling person deep inside. Of course, I tried not to laugh and my mouth kept making very twitchy smiles. Shortly, I began making my lips form a "O" shape, for some reason this was funny to me. Then Dr. Lurcott came in to get everything started.
"This is going to be the part you're not going like very much Brad" he said, as he began to give me the local anesthesia shots (9 or so in total). As he began the other side of the mouth he said "here's some more" to which i replied "numf ve vff ouutta ve". He removed the plastic keeping my mouth open. "what was that Brad?" he asked. "I vaid numbf ve shiff out of me". He replied by laughing, then I realized that i was being a little to comfortable with my language and dropped a S bomb in front of someone i only knew less than 3 minutes, so i immediately said "Sorry doc, iff's ve gas". He was cool with it and said he gets it all the time. After I was nice and loopy and couldn't feel my mouth the procedure began. Thankfully, I didn't feel anything at all but lots and lots of pressure as the first two teeth were pulled. After the first tooth was pulled, i noticed how much blood was on the doctor's index finger, i also noticed when he tried to open my mouth wider the bloody finger touched my chin. "his damn bloody finger just touched my beautiful beard...i'm going to sue him" I thought to myself. The next few minutes, I just thought of nothing but very very random stuff, especially of the gas and how I wished i could feel like that all the time, or how i can be on laughing gas at work so I wouldn't hate my job, then i took a turn left and started having inner conversations with myself over star wars and marvel superheroes, which i "told" myself "Brad you are such a freaking geek, it's a miracle you're married and not a virgin".
My thoughts were interrupted when the doctor began working on the "bonus" tooth i had to remove (the one that had a botched root canal) for some reason this one was hard to remove and the doctor spent a good while trying to pull it. When he finally, removed it he decided to let me rest my jaws before doing the other two wisdom teeth. For some reason I thought I'd tell him "That tooff wav a bitff huh?" he replied yes and laughed and once again I apologized for another profane word and once again blamed it on the gas. As he worked on my other final teeth i drifted off again into the nerdy world of my random geeky thoughts until the procedure ended. For some reason I didn't remember him pulling the last tooth, in fact all i remembered was the one on the top jaw being pulled. "All done Bradley" to which i replied "holy shiff" and once again apologized.
They began giving me oxygen to get out of the laughing gas loopiness, and then had me wait until the doctor returned. I remember looking in some magazine but immediately putting it away once i came across a random article on sex dolls, I already made a first impression with this group as someone with a loose tongue, the last thing i wanted them to think was that i was into that stuff too (which i'm not, but the pictures were funny because one had a guy totally making out with one). Once the Dr came back in, I had to have the nurse play translator as I was mixing charades with mumbles to ask if i could get a doctor's note for work since my job right now consists of constantly talking to people on the phone for 10 hours a day.
Once i got my oxycodone and antibiotics as Stacey and I were leaving for some reason I thought I'd be able to tell her everything i said and thought in the room and about the squirrel that was on a dumpster when we were leaving, which obviously was lots of mumbles to which Stacey told me just to "shut up and tell her later".
The rest of the day, I spent gauzing myself, attempting to eat applesauce (which with a lip 3 times it's normal size and a numb mouth is quite impossible without most if not all of it falling out of my mouth and onto my lap/crotch area). Once i got my mouth to regain feeling, I tried again with much better success. Next dental work will be the replacement tooth I'll get...but i'm spending at least a month to recover.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
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